When did it get to be October? It seems as though we just celebrated the 4th of July! Though, I'm not complaining. I was made for autumn. The way it fills my senses and surrounds me with peace is something I long for every year. It's ironic isn't it? Autumn is so breathtakingly beautiful, yet everything is dying. Everything almost feels brand new, yet in a few weeks winter will come and hide any trace of the red and gold leaves that blanket the forest floor.
Autumn always rejuvenates me, and awakens what's been dead inside all year long. This year has been nothing short of peaks and valleys. Very high peaks, and very low valleys. Autumn is a sign, here to let me know that I made it, that I survived my trials.
I have experienced nothing but growth in the last year, and we all know that doesn't come easy. Life likes to throw scary things at us like, long distance relationships, heath scares, the loss of friendships, career changes, and pretty much anything we weren't prepared for. Though, are we ever really prepared? Hell no.
I lived a good portion of 2016 in and out of the hospital, preparing to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and I lived each day as if I were going to die the next. I ate all the delicious food, I spent as much time with my horse and my man as much as possible. I always wanted to be outside, in preparation for the day when I wouldn't be able to walk anymore. I became selfish with my life and surrounded myself with the people and the things that made me happiest. Thankfully, I don't have MS, but I'm still battling my body every day.
Losing my job back in June was devastating for me, but it ended so that I could do what I was created to do. Photograph souls. We are made up of so much, and I truly believe I can see it, and capture all that we are. Photographs are so powerful and I've seen the impact it's had on my clients, and myself. They have the ability to help us grow, to allow ourselves be vulnerable without fear, and to love ourselves unconditionally. Sometimes, it takes us a while, but we must be thankful for the doors that close, because the ones that open are only leading us closer to our greater purpose.
A month ago, my boyfriend and I found out our landlord is selling our condo, so we have to move out. Things had finally settled down, and the universe didn't waste any time rocking our world once more. We knew that the next time we moved, we wanted to buy instead of renting, but we weren't ready for that right now. We couldn't possibly afford to buy a house, could we?
We are now weeks away from closing on our first home (please help us in sending good vibes)! Honestly, nothing is impossible. There is always a way, really. I mean, I am the queen of making assumptions and overreacting, but when all is said and done, everything works out exactly how it's supposed to.
So, where am I getting at? As you can imagine, I am tired, my body is tired. My soul is tired. It's been a trying year, and I can even sense my exhaustion in some of my work, but today something changed.
I was revived by the falling leaves that brushed my face, the wind that breathed new life into me, and the colors that put the light back into my eyes. I was inspired by the world around me, and I heard the universe say, "There she is. We've missed you."